BITTERSWEET...

Well, for those of you who don't do Facebook (and maybe those who don't keep up on it very often), the past few days have been rough. My oldest sister, Shannan, was put on life support and then passed away Thursday night. She struggled for many years with bipolar disorder and depression, along with a drug addiction that eventually proved fatal. The title of this post is "Bittersweet" because although death is always hard, it was a sweet relief and end to a real struggle that Shannan dealt with. We are headed to Utah next week for the funeral.

Instead of dwelling on the negative, I wanted to use this post to remember the good times with my sister. She was way older than me and sort of became my second mom. I remember her taking me to swimming lessons, working at the preschool I went to, teaching me how to shave and other "woman stuff", etc. She was an amazingly giving person. Very sensitive to people's needs. She taught me to love Raisinets, the movie What About Bob?, and Louie Anderson (the comedian). I remember lots of trips to get frozen yogurt and staying in her apartment in the summers in Utah. Whatever car she had became my new favorite. I loved Honda CRX's for a long time because she had one! When she would come home to visit I remember her leaving little surprises for my brother Russ and I when she had to leave before we woke up. Froot Loops cereal will always remind me of Shannan--she loved them and taught me the right way to eat them (who knew there was a system??)! One time she took me to lunch at a restaurant that shall remain nameless and she stole a menu for me so that I would always remember that lunch.:) She was a nanny for a few different families who adored her and she was so good to those kids--I was there to witness it firsthand a few times.:) She had twin boys and was a wonderful mother to them for the first couple years (before her struggles began). A lot of the tactics I use with Haylee are tricks I learned from Shannan. One especially memorable moment I have is being in St. George with her. We drove up to the hill with the airport on it and parked at night (probably right along with a bunch of teenage couples!). She pointed out how the St. George temple was breathtaking from that view and looked like it had been "dropped from heaven" (her exact words).

I can't express how excited I am to see Shannan after this life. I know she will finally be the Shannan I remember from my childhood.:) I am sad that she is gone, but I know she is in a much better place and free from the pain she endured here on earth. I can't imagine how I would get through this without the knowledge of the gospel. I feel so blessed to know why we are here on earth and where we go after we die. I love you, Shannan.:)